Well I have to say that this is just way too much fun. Wendy over at Weight...What has given us a mission and I have to say I had to do it because I couldn't stop laughing after reading what came up in my search.
What you need to do is google 'Unfortunately, (insert your name)" make sure you put it in everything in those quotation and report to her what you come up with. Here is what came up for my search.
Unfortunately, Heather was only able to pass the reading component of the tests.
Unfortunately Heather has to work as a hooker to pay for her retro fashion...
Unfortunately, Heather lost the ability to transform into Sasquatch.
Unfortunately Heather figured out the ruse and is now pressing charges against the paper.
Unfortunately, Heather will be back in Congress.
Unfortunately Heather will never go away.
Unfortunately, Heather was playing the nice role, and let her team mate sabotage both of them.
Unfortunately, heather learned about the sin of adultery from brother stephen. she thinks it means acting too much like an adult.
Unfortunately Heather couldn’t stop smiling...
Unfortunately, Heather is extremely beautiful and gets hooked up with guys that are equally beautiful but cheaters.
Unfortunately, Heather's marriage-obsessed family is thrilled about it...
Unfortunately, Heather's lungs don't like the smoke either, but doing the race was part of her training plan so there she was.
In a world filled with many many dim light bulbs unfortunately, Heather is simply one of the brightest ones shining. She is amazingly intelligent.
I could go on and on but I think you get the idea. Now go try it yourself because this was way too fun! I can hardly wait to see what you come up with!